Fun With Soul reaver-Lop some Boogie!!
by Ripperette
Summary: I saw this a few times, but I decided to give it a whirl! I, Ripperette, have messed up the Soul reaver dialogue! Hahahahahahhahahahahaha!!! PG because I wanted it to be. Please don't hurt me, I really love the game, I just thought people would like i
1. Default Chapter

  
Fun With Soul Reaver-Lop Some Boogie!!   
By The Ripperette  
Bringing you more wackiness than ever before!!  
  
A list of quotes that I have torn apart from Soul Reaver and other misc. SR related junk!!! Please, don't flame me, I did this in good faith and love of the series! Credit to the Dialectizer and nosgoth.net for the dialogue!  
  
  
Chapter One: The Dialectizer  
  
I Redneck  
  
The Introduction Speech  
  
Raziel:   
Kain is deified, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' Clans tell tales of Him, dawgone it. Few knows th' truth. He was mo'tal once, as were we all, ah reckon. Howevah, His corntempp fo' hoominity drove him t'create me, an' mah brethren, as enny fool kin plainly see.   
  
ah's Raziel, fust-born an' raised of His lieutenants. ah stood wif Kain an' mah brethren at th' dawn of th' empire. ah have sarved Him a millennium, dawgone it. On over time, we became less hoomin an' mo'e ...divine. Kain'd inter th' state of change an' emerge wif a noo gif'. Some years af'er th' master, our evolushun'd foller. Until I had th' hono' of surpassin' mah lo'd, cuss it all t' tarnation. Fo' mah transgresshun, ah arned a noo kind of reward, cuss it all t' tarnation... agony.   
  
Thar was only one postible outcome - mah eternal dadburnashun. I, Raziel, was t'suffer th' fate of traito's an' weaklin's - t'burn fo'evah in th' bowels of th' Lake of th' Daid.   
  
Kain:   
Cast him in, as enny fool kin plainly see.   
  
Raziel:   
Tumblin', burnin' wif white-hot fire, ah plunged into th' depphs of th' abyss. Unspeakable pain, as enny fool kin plainly see... relennulss agony... ... time ceased to exist... ... only this hyar to'ture... an' a deepenin' hatred of the hypocrisy thet dadburned me t'this hell, ah reckon.   
  
An eternity passed, an' mah to'ment receded, brin'in' me back fum the precipice of madness. Th' dexcent had destroyed me... an' yet ah lived, cuss it all t' tarnation.   
  
Elder God:   
Raziel, ah reckon... Yer wo'thy.  
  
*During the Elder God conversation*  
  
Raziel:   
ah's destroyed! Fry mah hide!   
  
Elder God:   
Yer reborn an' raised.   
  
Elder God:  
It is this hyar soul thet animates th' co'pse yo' 'lived' in, as enny fool kin plainly see.   
  
Elder God:   
Yer win's, though ruined, is not wifout purpose. Take hold of them as yo' leap, an' they will carry yo' acrost this hyar chasm, dawgone it.   
  
Raziel:   
Whut in tarnation scabrous wretches is these?   
  
Elder God:   
Do yo' suppose thet time stood still fo' yo', Raziel? Much has changed on account o' yo' passed fum th' wo'ld of men, as enny fool kin plainly see.   
  
*Talking With Melchiah*  
  
Raziel:   
'Nuff riddles - whut is yo' sayin'?! Fry mah hide!   
  
Raziel:   
Tell me, Melchiah - whar kin ah find Kain?   
  
Melchiah:   
Th' master is beyond yer retch, Raziel, ah reckon.   
He makes hisse'f known when He sees fit - not when comman'ed, cuss it all t' tarnation.   
  
*During Kain run-in #1*  
  
Kain:   
Raziel, ah reckon.   
  
Raziel:   
Kain! Fry mah hide!   
  
Kain:   
Th' abyss has been unkind, cuss it all t' tarnation.   
  
Kain:   
Whut in tarnation ah have made, ah can also destroy, chile.   
  
Raziel:   
Dawgone yo', Kain! Fry mah hide! Yer not God! Fry mah hide! This hyar ack of junocide is unconscionable!   
  
Raziel:   
ah w'd choose integrity, Kain, as enny fool kin plainly see.   
  
*Upon Meeting Ariel*  
  
Ariel:   
Whut in tarnation is yo', li'l soul? T'other of Kain's creatures, come to taunt this hyar boun' speckre?   
  
Ariel:   
Kain refused th' sacrifice. Th' Pillar of Balance, co'rupped to its co'e, stan's as a monoomnt t'his blind ambishun.   
Now these pillars sarve only t'bind me hyar -- mah prison an' eternal home, thanks t'th' avarice of yer master, Kain, as enny fool kin plainly see...   
  
Ariel:   
Far in th' eastern mountains, a stifled titan stan's in mute surrenner - unwillin' host t'a pareesitic swarm, dawgone it.   
  
--===~***~===--  
  
II Jive Talkin'  
  
*Silenced Cathedral*  
  
Zephon:   
De prodigal son. 'S coo', bro...   
Dere be no returnin' fo' ya', Raziel.   
  
Raziel:   
Zephon, yo' visage becomes ya'. It's an appropriate reflecshun of yo' soul...   
  
Zephon:  
...and ya' is not His handsome Raziel no mo'. His precious fust-bo'n son, turned betrayer. Ah be baaad...   
You's gots missed so's many changes, little Raziel. Look around ya'. See how de humans' weapon uh destrucshun gots become mah' crib... Indeed, my body. A cocoon uh brick and granite fum which t'watch a pupatin' wo'ld...   
  
Raziel:   
A crevice in which t'cower, only scuttlin' fum de shadows to devour some victim already ensnared in yo' cowardly trap. Jes hang loose, brud. But ya''ve made da damn missnatch uh leavin' me unbound, and it be ya' who gots'ta succumb to my will.   
  
Zephon:   
Will... instinct. Man!.. reflex acshun... de insect mind finds little difference.   
I warn ya', broda' - as mah' stature gots grown, so's it be matched by my appetite.   
Step fo'ward, mo'sel...   
  
Elder God *after you beat Zeph*:  
Consumin' Zephon's apostate soul gots bestowed on ya' some new gift. Man! Like his vampire spawn, ya' is able t'scale certain walls which is oderwise impassable - but only in de physical realm. WORD! In de spirit wo'ld, dese insubstantial edifices gots'ta not suppo't ya'.   
  
De kinyons beyond da damn Pillars 'espose an ancient blasphemy. Slap mah fro! Havin' devoured Zephon's soul, ya' may now gain entrance where yo' alley wuz fo'merly blocked.   
  
Elder God:  
*Warning Raziel of the Tomb of the Sarafan* Snatch heed, Raziel. A fo'gotsten histo'y lies widin. 'S coo', bro. Know dyself - dough it may destroy ya'...   
  
Raziel:  
As ah' pulled da damn stone free, some sigh uh sepulchral air escaped da damn inner chamber. Ah be baaad...   
I wuz not prepared fo' whut lay beyond dis dreshold...   
  
Dese crypts... destashd cax'ets uh Sarafan saints... bearin' mah' broders' dojiggers... And mah' own. 'S coo', bro...   
De irony uh Kain's blasphemous act rushed in on me wid de crushin' fo'ce uh revelashun...   
  
Were mah' hands not as bloody as dese? Wo'se, ah' had spilled de blood uh my broders - dese real comrades whose tombs lay ravaged befo'e me.   
  
Elder God:  
Yeah man, Raziel - ya' wuz Sarafan. 'S coo', bro... bo'n uh de same fo'ce dat all but destroyed yo' race. Befo'e da damn dawn uh de Empire, ya' wuz chosen. 'S coo', bro.   
  
*Tomb Guardian*  
  
Morlock (Correct me if I'm wrong):  
Heretic! Right on! You's shall not pass...   
  
Raziel:  
Such loyalty. Slap mah fro!.. t'one who gots ya' guardin' dis outpost likes some chained dog. What it is, Mama! Do ya' prospuh' on de scraps he casts ya'?   
  
Morlock:  
Yo' insults gots'ta do nodin' t'blunt da damn agonies uh yo' demise.   
  
Raziel:  
Kain wasted me once -- behold da damn result. Man! ah' have no mo'e t'fear from ya'.   
  
Elder God *upon defeating Morlock):  
Dis relic gots infused ya' wid de powa' to compress and manipulate space. As yo' symbiotic weapon, de Soul Reava' is also dus enhanced. You's may focus and project an o'b uh kinetic energy t'strike objects dat are oderwise beyond yo' reach. Lop some boogie.   
  
Elder God:   
*talking about Rahab* No'd uh de Sarafan Tomb, yo' broda' Rahab gots secluded himself and his progeny in de ruins uh a half-drowned abbey. Slap mah fro!   
  
  
So, what did you all think? Should I add more? Anything you would like me to add? Well, that's what reviews are for, my good friends! ...or e-mail me. flame me with an egg, whatever. 


	2. Between the Sheets...

  
Fun With Soul Reaver-Lop Some Boogie!!   
By The Ripperette  
Bringing you more wackiness than ever before!!  
  
Summary: A list of quotes that I have torn apart from Soul Reaver and other misc. SR related junk!!! Please, don't flame me, I did this in good faith and love of the series! Credit to the Dialectizer and nosgoth.net for the dialogue!  
  
  
Chapter Two: Adding a certain phrase...  
  
What if you put the quick phrase 'between the sheets' after a few sentances in Soul Reaver? Listed in no order in partucular...feel free to leave your mind in the gutter! Go ahead...let it roll in the nasty despicable thoughts!! Unwind a little, my SR buddies!  
  
Raziel Quotes:  
  
"This act of genocide is unconscionable between the sheets!"  
  
"Kain is deified between the sheets."   
  
"There was only one possible outcome - my eternal damnation between the sheets."  
  
"Tumbling, burning with white-hot fire, I plunged into the depths of the abyss between the sheets."  
  
"The descent had destroyed me... and yet I lived between the sheets."  
  
"What madness is this? What pitiful form is this that I have come to inhabit between the sheets?"  
  
"I would choose oblivion over this existence between the sheets!"  
  
"I am destroyed between the sheets!"  
  
"The old hunger has left me; I have no desire for blood between the sheets."   
  
"I did not intend to disturb your rest between the sheets."  
  
Kain Quotes:  
  
"Cast him in between the sheets."  
  
"The abyss has been unkind between the sheets."  
  
"Conscience...? You dare speak to me of conscience? Only when you have felt the full gravity of choice should you dare to question my judgment between the sheets!"  
  
"The blade is vanquished. So it unfolds... and we are a step closer to our destinies between the sheets."  
  
Ariel Quotes:  
  
"What are you, little soul? Another of Kain's creatures, come to taunt this bound spectre between the sheets?"  
  
"Rest...? A body is needed for sleep between the sheets."  
  
"Ghastly past, insufferable future, are they one and the same...? Am I always here between the sheets?"  
  
  
Elder God:  
  
"Raziel... You are worthy between the sheets."  
  
  
Well? Good? Bad? I need input, peoples! 


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